Tuesday, February 14, 2012

My Daily Reminder of God's Love

Ryan looks at me the same way all of his Great-Uncles back in North Dakota look(ed) at their wives. I have that. In my possession is that love. The love that lasts decades, never gets old, and keeps growing. This is my ninth Valentines Day with Ryan, and I can honestly say that I love him more with each day and definitely with each year that passes by. We're not in this for life, this marriage is for eternity. How crazy is that?!?!

What's even crazier is Ryan's unconditional love for me. God has really been refining some impurities out of me for at least the past six weeks. The refining hurts. I mean really hurts. I've had to deal with the ugliest, most awful layers of me, and so has Ryan. Unfortunately it is taking this really painful process for me to begin to realize that Ryan truly does love me unconditionally. It's still not something I've totally absorbed.  

My dependance for Ryan continues to grow. Some may see this as a weakness, but this girl who strives so much for independence sees it as a growing strength. I think it's pretty cool how excited I get when I find out he is home before me after a work day. When we are apart, either for work or play, we genuinely miss each other and I find myself appreciating him more. 

Now, don't let me lead you astray, our marriage isn't perfect, after all we are human. Although, there are times I seriously think I live with two Saints. Ryan is an expert at getting under my skin. Sometimes, I swear he lives just to raise my blood pressure, and trust me I swear.  And many of the things that I found attractive when we were dating, now totally repulse me. But God has a way of using everything, even that not-so-good, for His good. I raise Ryan's blood pressure too, just in a different way. ;) What is attractive has changed. Like the way he swoons my grandma or the way he holds our friend's babies, this is now what I find irresistible. 

I've got that one-in-a-million-guy. He's a gift from God. And a daily reminder of God's love. 

I love you Ryan Dale. Happy Valentines Day!

God is love,

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