My Daily Reminder of God's Love

Ryan looks at me the same way all of his Great-Uncles back in North Dakota look(ed) at their wives. I have that. In my possession is that love. The love that lasts decades, never gets old, and keeps growing. This is my ninth Valentines Day with Ryan, and I can honestly say that I love him more with each day and definitely with each year that passes by. We're not in this for life, this marriage is for eternity. How crazy is that?!?!


What's even crazier is Ryan's unconditional love for me. God has really been refining some impurities out of me for at least the past six weeks. The refining hurts. I mean really hurts. I've had to deal with the ugliest, most awful layers of me, and so has Ryan. Unfortunately it is taking this really painful process for me to begin to realize that Ryan truly does love me unconditionally. It's still not something I've totally absorbed.  


My dependance for Ryan continues to grow. Some may see this as a weakness, but this girl who strives so much for independence sees it as a growing strength. I think it's pretty cool how excited I get when I find out he is home before me after a work day. When we are apart, either for work or play, we genuinely miss each other and I find myself appreciating him more. 


Now, don't let me lead you astray, our marriage isn't perfect, after all we are human. Although, there are times I seriously think I live with two Saints. Ryan is an expert at getting under my skin. Sometimes, I swear he lives just to raise my blood pressure, and trust me I swear.  And many of the things that I found attractive when we were dating, now totally repulse me. But God has a way of using everything, even that not-so-good, for His good. I raise Ryan's blood pressure too, just in a different way. ;) What is attractive has changed. Like the way he swoons my grandma or the way he holds our friend's babies, this is now what I find irresistible. 


I've got that one-in-a-million-guy. He's a gift from God. And a daily reminder of God's love. 


I love you Ryan Dale. Happy Valentines Day!


God is love,
Vanessa

What to Give to Someone Who Saved Your Life

Ryan (that's my husbands name) and I have shower dates. No, I don't make him attend baby and bridal showers with me (I wouldn't do that to an enemy). We shower together, you know get clean. It's one of the few times throughout our day that we can spend time together and talk (and accomplish other important tasks). I'm a big fan of multi-tasking, so it's great. By the way, if this is too risque for you, then please never read my blog again, WE ARE MARRIED FOR PETE'S SAKE.


Anyway, it was a Friday night, and on this particular shower date we were, amongst other things, discussing what we needed to prepare for potluck at church the next day.

I got this picture from Pinterest

Me: "Where did the pie in the fridge come from?" (I was astonished that Ryan could possibly want more pie after devouring two Costco size pies earlier in the week. Why this shocks me, after 5 years of marriage, is yet to be determined.)
Ryan: "The Fire Station." (Ryan is a very active volunteer at our local fire/ems station.) 
Me: "Why did you get a pie from the fire station? Don't the guys want it??"
Ryan: "Because they were going to throw it away."
Me: "Why? Is it old? RYAN!!!...." 
Ryan: "Because they get tons of that sort of thing this time of year." 
Me: "Where does it come from?" (I'm thinking about at the office where stuff like that comes from drug reps, coworkers, patients, pharmacies, etc)
Ryan: "It usually comes from people that we've helped out. You know, saved their house from burning down. Or, saved their lives. People like that."
Me: "Oh. That makes sense." (Because naturally, one should give pies for their life being saved from death.)


So then I got to thinking (not in the shower but later), "What would I give someone for saving my life?" They would obviously receive a card. I would probably write about them here on my blog. And I would definitely mention it on Facebook and Twitter. But then what? Should I name my first child after them? Gosh, I sure hope their name wouldn't be Kermit (no offense to the Kermits out there). I just don't know where I'd even begin to thank someone for saving my life... so I guess an apple pie is as good as anything.


Then I really got to thinking (scary I know). How do I thank Jesus for saving my life? Seriously. Can't say that I have ever sent him a card. I mention Him frequently on Facebook and Twitter. His name even comes up on Pinterest. I don't think I will name my children after Him, but my children will certainly be raised with Him. There are many other ways I try to thank my Savior, but they all seem to pale in comparison to what He has done (and continues to do) for me in my life.


Today at church my friend Jerry gave an inspiring sermon on Matthew 26:6-13 ⁶ Meanwhile, Jesus was in Bethany at the home of Simon, a man who had previously had leprosy. ⁷ While he was eating, a woman came in with a beautiful alabaster jar of expensive perfume and poured it over his head. ⁸ The disciples were indignant when they saw this. “What a waste!” they said. ⁹ “It could have been sold for a high price and the money given to the poor.” ¹⁰ But Jesus, aware of this, replied, “Why criticize this woman for doing such a good thing to me? ¹¹ You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me. ¹² She has poured this perfume on me to prepare my body for burial. ¹³ I tell you the truth, wherever the Good News is preached throughout the world, this woman’s deed will be remembered and discussed.” 


That's how one woman expressed her thanks to her Savior. There's noble things I could suggest like, "Give Jesus my heart" or "Surrender myself to him" or "Live my life for Jesus, as an expression of thanks" but again, these all pale in comparison. I could also sacrifice my own life; no comparison. Follow all the rules... nah still not good enough.


That's the beauty of a God who is love. All I have to do is accept His gift of saving my life. There is nothing I could ever do to thank Him for that gift. And like any good gift, I can use it any way I want....


"Dear Jesus, I love you and I am so thankful you know my heart to know exactly how thankful I am. Please show me the best way to use the gift of life that you have given me. In your name and for your sake. Amen."


Also... Happy New Year! Have fun and be safe tonight!!! I'd hate for Ryan to end up with another pie from the fire station!


How are you planning on using Jesus' gift in 2012?